“In your vulnerability lies your strength.”

 

I bought into the illusion of control for a long time and I felt like I could control my way out of most circumstances. The way I did this was by controlling how I packaged myself to the world as this happy go lucky charismatic guy. I was pretty good at it. I am amazed how many people bought my performance and saw me as born with a silver spoon and the guy who always landed with his bum in the butter.

In reality the sword that was thrust through my soul was always there, it was just well concealed beneath multiple layers of facade.

If I could fix you, then I didn’t need to fix myself, so I was good at attracting broken and vulnerable people to save. I really felt like my intentions were good at the time but my boundaries were nonexistent and someone always ended up feeling let down.

Unsustainable!

That’s a great word for summing up my former world. There is just no way it could ever have been sustainable.

For most of my life I used to look at people who had suicidal thoughts as completely insane. Why wouldn’t they just go to India and join a monastery and disconnect from the rest of the world and meditate and paint.

But when I reached my own surrender point a few years back, I became all too familiar with the full brunt of pain, despair and vulnerability and I too had frequent thoughts of checking out as a way to stop the unbearable heaviness.

Such a big part of my realignment is becoming ok with “off the meter” feelings of vulnerability which are completely counter to my “well controlled” life. I also grew up in the 60’s in South Africa when “men were men” and to show emotions was a sign of weakness.

I have to be constantly alert of not branding my vulnerability as shameful, guilty and weak. It takes all my focus to realize that in my vulnerability lies my strength and it is through my vulnerability that I connect to self and Source in the deepest of ways. And our most vulnerable moments are also the moments that connect us in the deepest of ways to others.

What if we could give vulnerability an empowering meaning? What if every time we felt vulnerable we recognized it was a sign that we were opening our hearts and souls to the Universe and that through this act of immense courage we were expressing our oneness with all that is.

Maybe a prayer could go like this: “Thank you Source for my vulnerability that connects me in the deepest way to all there is. In this place I am one with you and it is here in the safety of your non-judgment that I become the change agent I was created to be. Thank you for the gift of vulnerability that tells me I am on the right course as I journey home.”

To be an effective coach I need to be intimately in tune with my vulnerability. Only then can I be fully effective at holding space for others as they forward their learning and deepen their Purpose.

The name of the game is vulnerability. That’s what we are being called to do. We need to feel the full range of our fear and vulnerability to fully live in the present and to live a life of Purpose.

The great conclusion we must come to when accepting the Divinity within us, is that there is no fault that cannot be forgiven, there is no disease that can’t be cured and there is no addiction whose cycle can’t be broken.

And our vulnerability is the barometer that we are open, willing, ready and able to carry on the Hero’s Journey.

Much Love & Welcome Home.

 

Ryf

 

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